I don’t know how to be the girl who needs a guy. I can’t play the damsel in distress character. I wouldn’t know how to act scared when watching a scary movie with a guy so he can comfort me. If I can’t reach something, I find a chair to stand in. If I can’t open a bottle, I find something else to drink. If I have something heavy to carry or move, I suck it up and do it myself. If something breaks, I google it or call someone. If I’m out late, I walk to my car by myself once me and my friends say bye. If I hear something at night when I’m about to go to sleep, I get up to see what it is. If I’ve had a bad day, I go in my room to be by myself. I’m becoming more and more independent by the day and that scares me. Because sometimes I want to be the girl who needs a guy. 

I can’t picture anyone daydreaming about me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me when they’re laying in bed before they fall asleep. I can’t picture anyone telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I hugged them, or even just because I made eye contact with them. I can’t picture someone smiling because my name lit up their phone. I just can’t.